Every Chinese New Year, millions of dollars are spent by the Chinese community, according to the Spending of Hua-ren Altogether Institution (SOHAI). A private research bureau that has yet to receive recognition from our national statistic’s department.
With the recent economical slump that has hit our nation all so badly; I find this figure we spent during this festive season to be a little outrageous. I mean, there are so many unnecessary things that can be eliminated from our CNY expenditure list. Overspend. But here’s the thing, we are proud to overspend. We want to overspend. We NEED to overspend. Or else when our uncles and aunties come over, they will say that our father never got his bonus this year coz he was a lazy bum. Face water will drop. Then our father will be depressed, humiliated and angered. Then we won’t get our angpows. Cannot lah liddat!
But here’s the thing, we spend on things that we don’t really need and don’t spend on things that we really need. Weird? No, it’s all about being Chinese. It’s in our blood, or our dragon blood, as some calls it. So in fact Dragon Ball would actually mean…well, you know where this is going.
But of course, our pee-pee ain’t that tiny as how those cartoons portrayed it.
I’m not against celebrating the Lunar New Year or whatnot, but to be honest, the above is just one of the few shits we do during CNY. Here’s a list of the rest:
1. Put up Chinese New Year decorative one week before the celebration. Take it down one week after the 15 days celebration. Keep said decorative in the store-room so that you can use it again for 8 more years. 10, if you use high-quality stuffs.
2. Put up Chinese New Year decorative one week before the celebration. Leave it there for the next 8 years. 10, if you use high-quality stuffs.
3. Drive all the way to Tesco which is like 12 kilometres further than your regular Jusco because their carton of Tiger beer is cheaper by RM3.99. Never mind that you have to spend more on petrol, beer more important. Where can celebrate CNY without alcohol? Lose face lah!
4. Take out all the fancy cups and saucer from the kitchen cabinet and spend 45 minutes cleaning them out thoroughly. After finish cleaning the cups and saucer, shove them back into the kitchen cabinet so that you can do that again next year.
5. Finish one box of mandarin oranges before the first day of Chinese New Year. Then complain say got sore throat. Then tweet about it. Then seek attention. Just like me.
6. Attend the reunion dinner as late as possible. The later you arrive, the more ‘ong’ you gonna get in your new year. True story.
7. Once we receive our angpows, make up some lame stomach-ache excuse and run to the nearest toilet so that we can open our red packets to see how much we got. If we like what we see, we’ll come out smiling. If not, we’ll go out of the toilet without flushing our poo-poo.
8. Gambling, that will result in 2 scenarios. One, blow up the entire year’s savings. Two, don’t have to save money anymore for the entire year.
9. After finish tossing the yee-sang, only eat the tiny crispy thingy and neglect the other contents.
10. Only time you’ll get to see your drunken uncle trying to tell your drunken aunty how beautiful she is. And then they start fighting.
11. Blow a few hundred bucks on fireworks and fire-crackers. Light them all over the place. Then spend the whole of next morning cleaning up the mess from the fireworks and fire-crackers.
12. After 15 days of celebration, update your Facebook status or tweet about how the Chinese New Year went by so quickly and that you miss it already.