In all outright honesty, I have nothing against Valentine’s Day even though every so-called classy restaurant will be crowded, every movie theater will run out of tickets and every other chick will walk around with a bouquet of roses not knowing that I’m allergic to the pollen from said flora (so my doctor tells me). Seriously, every time some unfortunate pollen lingers into my nose, I’ll sneeze for a good 20 minutes and when I’m done; my face will look like it has just finished menstruating. Scary, but true.
Just like a lot of other cheapskate guys out there who had been innocently conned by this much commercialized “celebration”, I find Valentine’s Day to be a little overrated. I mean, if you lovebirds want to bang each other, any other days would be equally fine.
This year, fortunately for many guys, February 14th marks the return of the UEFA Champions League. And here is my top 10 countdown on why spending the 14th of February watching the Champions League will be a better idea than celebrating Valentine’s Day with a date. Yeah, I’m rockin’ it Letterman style.
10. You don’t have to sit through the whole 90 minutes if you don’t like what you’re seeing and just walk away. Try doing that to your date.
9. You could just switch the channel halfway through if you are not happy with it. Switch your date halfway through and see, guarantee no need to go home in one piece.
8. Your TV will not get upset with you if you watch the Champions League on another TV. Not too sure about your date if she finds out you are seeing another date.
7. The Champions League will not yell at you because you forgot to buy flowers.
6. If you missed the Champions League, you can still catch up with the highlights on the next day. Try missing that date on Valentine’s Day, just try.
5. Not a big fan of Champions League? It’s okay, there’s the EPL, La Liga, Serie A, Bundesliga and French Ligue 1. Not a big fan of your date so you take on alternatives? Everyone will start calling you an unfaithful bastard.
4. The Champions League will not go “OMG I’ve always wanted that!” at everyone shop it passes by.
3. You can wear nothing but your boxers and the most comfortable singlet during the 90 minutes of Champions League game. Boxers and comfortable singlet on your date? I don’t think so.
2. If your team wins, they go on to play the next round. If your date went on well, there are no guarantees that you’ll move on to play in the next round. If you know what I mean.
And finally, the number one reason why watching the Champions League is a much wiser idea instead of going on a date. Drum roll please.
1. You can mute the match commentator if he is being irritating.
So guys, go forth and watch thy Champions League. May the force of forever-alone be with you.
4 Piece of Mind:
Nice one Vince ... the mute one is a bit familiar like i read it before .. =)
The force of forever-alone! You definitely got THAT right! xD
awesome 1 ! =D
Interesting writing from a young person !
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