Wrapping Up 2011

You know, this is my first post for 2012. And it’s customary for a lot of bloggers to list down whatever they’ve done through out the whole of last year. So yeah, here I am. Because I’m so mainstream.

The year took off with me being locked-up behind bars during my birthday. Did I drop the soap when I was in the slammers, you were asking? No I did not, asshole.

And then I decided to become an advice columnist. It didn’t pan out well and I don’t see why. I mean, I can really give good advice. Here, try me. Q: “My husband’s cheating on me, what should I do?” A: “Slip in some laxative and Viagra in his coffee. It is gonna be hilarious seeing him shat with a hard-on.”

See, am I good at this advice thingy or what?

Then I was given the honour (more like I took it upon myself shamelessly without invitation) to touch the Champions League trophy. It was orgasmic I tell you, caressing something that has been touched by so many legendary icons. Yeah, that was one slutty trophy all right.

The highlight of my year came when I was named Nuffnang’s Featured Blogger of the Month. It was like winning a Grammy’s or from the Asian perspective, a Golden Horse. Or was it a Golden Rooster, not too sure with my facts. But either way, it was AWESOME.

I then got my ridiculously long fringe clipped off. Kept it for quite a while, but hey, all good things must come to an end. Hey, the fringe was cool okay.

Moolah? Oh yeah, got a big fat cheque courtesy of Nuffnang. Yeah, it was so fat that it made Oprah looked like Beyonce. Okay, maybe not Beyonce, but let’s not get all fussy with names aite?

Then I kinda saw a pair of boobs at a party, no biggies.

Had my final A-level examinations somewhere in the middle of the year which I passed proudly with moderately floating colours. Yeah, I’m not a person who hungers perfection and excellence. You know, modesty?

And then there was this exclusive photo of me that was taken 15 years ago. Back then, I wasn’t so tall. But I was still adorable. True story.

Another awesome moment that I will not forget for the rest of my life was the meeting and touching (I sure love this, don’t I?) of footballers from my childhood club, Chelsea. Yeah, thanks to Nuffnang, I had the opportunity to meet almost each and everyone one from the club that I’ve grown up with. It was like orgasm (sorry, this is the only ‘good’ feeling I could think of), only 100 times awesomer.

I went on to become a property agent. Well, I still am. So call me if you want a roof over your head, I’ll be more than delighted to assist you.

Oh, on another note, a ‘distant relative’ of mine left RM31 million in assets and cash in my name. But being the humble down-to-earth me, I politely refused this unjust enrichment. I mean, me with RM31 million? Nah.

Wrote a story about my journey with Nuffnang, had me realising what a long way I’ve came through with Nuffnang. Without Nuffnang, I don’t think my blogging life would have been as colourful as it is today.

To think of it, 2012 will be my fourth blogging year (well, 3 and a half, to be precise, but let’s not get all mathematical, okay?). In all four years, I’ve met a lot of new and awesome people, attended events of all sorts, experience things that I would otherwise not have experienced if I wasn’t into blogging. Basically, blogging changed my life lah. Had to say it no matter how cliché it sounds.

To think of it, my 2011 wasn’t a bad one after all. Things were a little bumpy now and then, but hey, it’s time to put those things in the rearview mirror and focus on the windscreen right now. Because if you don’t, you’re gonna ram into some trees. Or street-lights. Or even donkeys. And then get yourself into a hospital. Maybe a coma. A coma, is that what you really want?

Here’s to a better 2012. Happy New Year everyone!