My Less Ambitious New Year Resolutions

It’s such a cliché to do New Year resolutions. Most of it involves big goals that seem somewhat realistic in the beginning but turns out to be more and more impossible to achieve as time goes by. Pretty much like eliminating the growth of Beilibers or Biebelers or whatever these Bieber fanatics call themselves.

People always make really fancy and extravagant resolutions in the light of a new year. And when they couldn’t achieve those resolutions, they’ll start kicking their own groin for making such stupid resolutions.

Like the old Malay saying goes, no matter how high the squirrel could jump, it’s gonna get shot down someday. And then made into stew or satay, poor squirrel. Oh wait, I don’t think that meant ‘the higher you aim, the more painful you fall’. But you get my point.

Hence, to avoid such disappointments and pain in the testicles, I’ve decided to come up with some less ambitious New Year resolutions.

• 1. I’m gonna be nicer towards people around me. Instead of yelling, cursing and swearing in their faces, I’ll only yell and curse, no swearing. I mean, nobody likes using the F-word right? It’s too mainstream.
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  2. It’s about time I started on more matured reading materials. So bye-bye Doraemon and hello Detective Conan.
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  3. Gonna start playing football more often. If possible, every other day. All I have to do now is to choose between FIFA 12 and Pro Evolution Soccer. Ahh, screw it, FIFA 12 it is. Now, where is that Playstation of mine…
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  4. Instead of getting six-packs on my abs, I’m gonna get one-and-a-half packs on my belly region by the end of this year. Hey, that half makes a lot of difference, okay?
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  5. I’ll live healthier this year. Instead of two Big Macs every week, I’m just gonna have one Big Mac. And perhaps a larger serving of fries to compensate.
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  6. No more driving out to mamak stalls for late night snack. It’s an unsound waste of petrol and pollution to the environment. Will call Pizza Hut’s home delivery instead.
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  7. Study on a more consistent basis. Instead of studying only when the internet is down, I’ll also study when it’s raining and Astro’s service are interrupted.
  
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  8. Cut down on alcohol. Oh wait, can’t do this.

Problem solved. I’m gonna end this year knowing that I’ll achieve each and everyone of my resolutions. I’m the man lah.