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Just so you iPhone users know,

Apple wasn’t that innovative after all.

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A Theory About Santa

I’ve got this little theory about our dear friend Santa Claus. Which involves another mythical icon who promises the bearing of gift and wealth, Choy San Yeh, the God of Prosperity.

That both of them are…

I’m pretty sure I’m right. In the mean time, Merry Christmas dear readers who are currently reading my blog instead of being at an awesome party during this holiday season. Hashtag foreveralone hahaha! Oh wait, that makes me a bigger foreveralone guy since I was the one who wrote this post. Dammit.

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UFO Desserts and Drinks

No, this is not some stopover station for Martians to have a bowl of ice-kacang or taufu-fah before they proceed with their journey of invading other planets and scaring little kids. It’s a humble little dessert parlour located in SS2, Petaling Jaya.

Some time ago, I was abducted okay fine, invited by Xing and Simon to a little party where we were supposed to gossip like a bunch of Twilight-obsessed teenage girls whilst celebrating Xing’s success in completing her first exam paper without causing any permanent damage to her mental wellbeing. Little did I know that almost 20 other bloggers will be present at this so-called party-cum-food review. Syiok sendiri saja.

Anyhoos, this place, UFO desserts and drinks was not your ordinary dessert retailer. Well of course, there’s chairs and tables, bowls and spoons and things like that but yet, it’s not ordinary.

How not ordinary it is? I’ll show you lah.

Have you ever seen something like this or not when you patronise a dessert shop? Ahhhh see, not ordinary. (Just go with me lah please and say that you’ve never seen something like this in your entire years of living and that you are so amazed with this green little doughnut-like thingy even though you might have somehow seen it somewhere at some point of time)

You see, this is actually a device that will warn you of alien intrusion. Yes, the device detects the number of unidentified foreign creatures that is within your proximity (see, mine showed 3, which means 3 aliens are frightfully close to me at that time). Hence, you’ll have sufficient time to enter into a defensive stance, protecting yourself from the strings of attacks that will take place. According to research, the best and most effective way to deflect said strings of attacks would be to look for and cling on to any computer/laptop/smartphone/tablet near you and immediately type in www.vincephilosophy.com on your internet browser.

Heh. Cheap publicity stunt, I know. This is where all of you are legally obliged to give me the finger.

Okay, I was totally not serious about the green doughnut-like thingy. But it’d be really awesome if we had something like that. Admit it, you like my idea too.

Truth be told, every customer will be given one of this devices upon ordering. It’s actually a buzzer that will vibrate vigorously when your orders are ready. Well, it can be reluctantly accepted that it’s a vibrator, but judging from the shape, size and intensity of vibration, I don’t think it’ll make itself popular among women. For the male users on the other hand…

Ahh, the art of derailing from the topic. Dessert, that’s what we should be talking about.

  
Let’s start of with snacks, shall we? There’s a variety of deep-fried ones for you to choose from. Sesame-balls, deep-fried chicken fillet, fries (and mind you, there’s like a whole list of different types of fries to choose from) and our all-time favourite, calamari rings. Yeah, we had so many plates of calamari rings that the owner had to politely tell us they’ve ran out of it and that we would have to wait for ‘a while’. They had to send some men out to fish for fresh squid.

Kidding, they needed some time to defrost the frozen ones.

Putting snacks aside, the house’s specialty would be in the form of bubble-tea and shaved-ice. Just selecting the right cup of tea or right bowl of shaved ice will seem like a challenging task. Even deciphering the formula to calculate gravity will appear to be an easier project. They have a really wide selection of bubble-tea and shaved ice!

Can’t seem to suppress that inner voice of yours that is painfully begging for some of these mouth-watering snacks and desserts? Head on over to UFO Desserts and Drinks now at No.86, Jalan SS2/60, SS2, 47300 Petaling Jaya, Malaysia (GPS : N03 07.119'  E101 37.437'). And if that’s not enough to convince you, here’s something that will.

Come on lah, I’ve practiced that Puss-in-Boots innocent eyes for decades already. How can you not be convinced?

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Thank You Churp Churp!

Thanks to Churp Churp and Tiger Beer, I’ve won 2 crates of Tiger Beer. Which means I now have 48 bottles of heavenly golden fluid that makes life a lot meaningful. This is the birth of my very first new year’s resolution for 2012.

And I believe I’ll achieve this pretty soon. A big thank you to Churp Churp once more!

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THIS IS UMNOOOOOOO!

If you’ve been spending some time enriching yourself with some news instead of looking at photos of naked girls all the time, you’ll realise that the UMNO General Assembly had been on for the past 2 days. One thing that really got my attention was the speeches by the various party leaders. Well, it’s not much of a speech because the speakers spend half the time yelling while hoisting his or her arm in the air. Needless to state, it was as if the microphones weren’t functioning and nobody in the whole fathermucking hall knows how to fix it.

Dear leaders of every political organisations in Malaysia during speech-giving, just in case you didn’t know, with the blessings of technology, we can now speak into a cylindrical thingy that looks pretty much like a dildo (another technological wonder that have shaken the world, one woman at a time) and it will amplify our voices so the gathering of audience can hear us obstreperously and distinctly. Hence, there is no need for us to raise our voice into said cylindrical thingy that looks pretty much like a dildo.

Well, if you couldn’t find any videos on the net of them presenting their speeches in a technologically retarded manner, I’ll save your time and provide a summary of how it actually felt through out the speech.

On the side note, it’s a fairly suitable time right now to venture into the whole sore-throat lozenges industry. Confirm got business.

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