Truthfully, I have no slightest clue how ‘moist skin’ supposed to look like. I'm the kind of dur man who knows particularly nothing about maintaining my complexion, I mean, not many man knows about this sort of ‘maintenance’ right?
Well, when it comes to issues like skin and maintaining it, everyone would agree that it is more of a woman’s expertise. I’m not exactly a woman, so yup; I virtually know nothing about women. I might even be the kind of guy who will buy sanitary pads for my pregnant wife.
To me, this is moist skin.
This is moist skin too.
And dammit, this is the moistest skin of all!
But no, according to the Women’s Dictionary of Beauty and Expensive Handbags, Make-up Sets and Clothes, the above is far from what is acknowledged as ‘moist skin’. The above are classified as ‘disgusting mans’ stuff’.
Thus, my interpretation of ‘moist skin’ is perfectly inaccurate.
And I wasn’t about to give up and get condemned for my ignorance.
I did a little research on how moist skin should look like.
Now, that is legally known as ‘moist skin’. Hmm, guess now I know a little something about women. And from there, I knew I wasn’t moist enough myself. I was determined to make my skin moist. I was driven to be the next model for beauty products. I had fire in me, burning with passion. I am going to have a skin so moist that it makes Linda Chung looked like a piece of dried log!
But I made a little mistake.
I did not look up on how to have moist skin.
And foolish enough, I took my own naïve effort to ‘make my skin moist’. You know how you make yourself look like a complete idiot when you have no idea how to do something but you just kept on doing it? Well, I was that idiot for a few minutes.
I made myself a pail of water. You see, water is the main thing that keeps something moist. And by soaking my body part in water, the moisture will remain in my skin for a very long time. See, I’m smart.
Very sprucely, I told myself, water itself was not enough. I need to add something.
Got it. I know just what to add.
I added clothing softener.
You see, the rationale behind it was that I don't just moisten my skin, but I can also soften it at the same time. Well, I didn’t quite know that rationale was flawed.
So I started off with my face.
Confident enough, I thought if I’d soak my face in that pail of water for a period of time, the water will penetrate into my cells and keep them moist.
And boy was I wrong; I ended up looking like this.
Not pleased with the attempt on my face, I put my hands to the test.
I thought it will be a success this time. But again, I was proven wrong. My hand became like Mother Teresa’s.
Still unsatisfied, my legs became the next specimen!
I was convinced that it will succeed this time. Sadly, it did not. My legs looked like this in the end.
Dejected, dispirited and depressed. I was on the verge of giving up and I kept telling myself, I will never have moist skin in my entire life.
In a matter of years, my skin will be as dry as this,
I’m screwed.
All of the sudden, the Angel of Moist Skin appeared out of no where!
Ya, you know in fairytales and folklores, it is stereotypical for some mystical creatures to appear out of no where to help someone who is about to give up and kill themselves. So yeah, I have the Angle of Moist Skin revealing himself/herself/itself.
Lo and behold! The Angel of Moist Skin!
Don’t ask me why it looks like a teddy bear.
Anyways, the angel told me this,
Vaseline? I asked.
Very calmly, the angel replied in a stylish manner.
So I did what I was instructed. And gosh, was I surprise to see there’s actually an easier way to achieve moister skin. MUCH easier, I say.
Boy, did I feel like a loser.
All I have to do is apply it and I will have the moist skin I’ve always wanted!
I took it to a test. Well, I shall let the result speak for itself.
I applied some on my face.
When I look in the mirror the next day, I see this!
I was delighted with what I see. I finally have moist skin!
If I continue using Vaseline products for the next 50 year, I’m able to upkeep this awesome Taylor Lautner look!
Just that I might sport a white goatee and a few strands of white moustache.
The above are purely fictitious and no animals were harmed through out the process. Everything above was written in the name of entertainment and hope of winning some awesome prizes.
In conclusion, am I moist enough?
You be my judge. :)
LANEIGE K-Beauty Blogger Makeup Workshop
3 hours ago
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