Blog Giveaway

This is just another gimmick to shamelessly promote my blog and reap in more traffics.

Well, I was lucky enough to win something which I'm not a big fan of during the LG Cookie Monster Party.

Yes, an album by Rain entitled Rainism or Collection or something like that lah.

So instead of selling it on Ebay, which is very unethical *ahem*, I've decided to give it away to one lucky dude or dudette or in between! Regardless a Rain's fan or otherwise. All I want is creativity in return. And perhaps some readership. :P

I'd appreciate it if you start applauding my generosity and start buying me flowers.

Anyway, to win, or perhaps to get this album, all you have to do is send me naked photos of yourself be a follower of my blog and start paying me daily visits.

Never mind about the daily visit part.

Next, compose a creative dialogue based on the following photo.

Yes, *very hao lian* its a conversation between Kenny Sia and myself. All you have to do is come up with something wacky that Kenny said and a laughable reply by yours truly, or vice versa.

Just a simple,

Kenny: ...

Vince: ...

will suffice. :) In the comments' section ah, not anywhere else.

Yes, this is a caption contest, reluctantly speaking. A very informal one. I may be bias towards girls in tight skirt.

Just for fun, this was my own version of things.

So whaddya waiting for? Send in your entries by 5th of August 2010! For more information please log on to www.nosuchwebsitedon'teventrylookingforit.com or call 999 now!

p.s. The dateline is serious. And no, naked photos will not entitle you to a better chance of winning. And yes, this contest is REAL, Ken.

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AWESOME-MEST LG Cookie Monster Party!

Once again, Nuffnang successfully rocked socks with a smashing party last Saturday – The LG Cookie Eating Monster Party! I have to say, this party was one heck of a ride, not sexually speaking.

So much meliorated compared to The Silent Halloween. Not implying that Silent Halloween sucked lah, it’s just in my utmost humble opinion. For one, the atmosphere was young and chic, the deco wasn’t overdone, food was better, waitresses were scantily-clad in tank tops and the skirt is OMFG tight and for crying out loud, they had Kenny Sia on the stage!

Yes, apparently there weren’t any scantily-clad waitresses there. Thanks to the presence of under-aged kids bloggers. So much for coming to the party. You guys should stay at home and study. :P

It was at this exceptionally cool place called Neutral.

That houses a really voguish ambience.

And yes, that’s yours truly, all geared up for the party. Er, I was dressed up as a short-sighted vampire with a bad haircut who had just joined the army recently and wasn’t entitled to don on an army shirt.

Don’t you think that’s the coolest costume ever?

Well, it was nice meeting Stitch, who apparently regretted and cursed herself for not coming to the party as Lilo.

Baboon pretending to play with DSLR professionally, hmph! Show off!

The crowd,

Pretty much enjoying themselves while waiting for the ball to start rolling.

With Carmen the 15-years-old-under-aged-girl-who-thinks-she-is-taller-than-me. Ah ya, because of you lah, we have no booze and sexy waitresses.

Henry the monkey who decided to come as a devil. Hmm, scary much? From now on, he shall be regarded as Henry the devilish-but-not-so-scary-monkey.

Don’t play play, this devilish monkey was lucky enough to win a digital photo frame OK?

With Shii Teck, the purportedly mad doctor who escaped from Pantai Cheras hospital.

With Wendee the pink devil. Damn, why so many devils one?

Ah Richard, with his atrociously shuddery wig. I kid you not; the wig actually covered his whole face. Somebody’s gonna get a real heart-attack if Richard exited the club and took on the streets.

With, er, I-dunno-who-are-they-but-just-camwhore-because-Baboon-camwhored-with-them.

With the two scariest-looking girls in the entire club. For some reason, blood kinda looked sexy.

With the two scariest-looking guys in the entire club. For some reason, unborn foetus attached to bellies kinda looked sexy too.

At long last, the moment that I’ve been waiting for, multiple orgasm! to see Kenny Sia! The real Kenny Sia! YES! THE REAL THING!

I have to admit, I silently worship Kenny Sia. Not with joss sticks and the bible of course. He is the blogger I really look up to, the admiration and awe for kennysia.com, is simply overwhelming. And now that I finally get to meet him in person, it’s the exact excitement Datuk Seri Najib has when he meets Barack Obama for dinner.

Of course, how can I not approach him for a handshake and a couple of photos?

It was really kind of him to give me some guidance on how to enlarge my buah langsat balls into the size of coconuts.

Just kidding.

And the WonderNuffies! I swear, the whole crowd went all orgasmic when they started to dance.

Guys began to wonder why their girlfriends can’t perform the same ‘Nobody Nobody’ dance.

And girls began to wonder if the Nuffies’ long legs were real or an outcome of plastic surgery (they do have plastic surgeries for leg right?).

I have to admit, they rocked. Big time. Good thing they didn’t have a bunch of pretty boys to go up the stage and depict Super Junior.

Socializing and camwhore continued. Here’s a tiny me. And a humongous Shaolin Tiger.

I am really small. Or how Gareth might put it with a tad twist English accent, I am bloody small.

With Joshuaongys. To think of it, we kinda look alike.

With Nicole a.k.a. MsXeroZ, the happiest girl in the entire club and perhaps the entire KL.

She had just won herself a big sum of cash few days back. And now she is a proud owner to a brand new LG phone which should rightfully belong to me. Nicole, you owe me lunch! :P

With Boss and FourFeetNine. His trademark smile is really unparalleled. Nobody can make that kind of smile, the smile that says, “You goddamn bet I’m the boss”. He is one entrepreneur I look up to. When I grow up, I want to be Timothy Tiah!

With Robb, the second most powerful man in Malaysia's Nuffnang office. :)

With Niki Cheong and Hooi Nee. Niki, if you’re reading this, do you think you can pull some strings and feature my blog in the Star? I’m not greedy; a front-page appearance will suffice for me. :P

Mission accomplished. A big thank you to Baboon and Steven for being my camera-man. Although Steven can’t get the hang of taking photos with a DSLR and I ended up taking more time cropping and editing the photos.

Awesome party. And by that, I really mean it, IT’S AWESOME!

As many thumbs up as possible to Nuffnang!

Ah, I wonder when’s the next the party? :)

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Breaking news!

BREAKING NEWS!

(Kuala Lumpur) With the recent hike in prices of various goods, it is feared that Malaysia’s favourite fruit – apple, will be the next good to have its price raised from RM32/kg to RM320/kg. This forecast had coerced agricultural biotechnologist to come out with a new creation in order to deal with the plausible price hike effectively.

Chairman of the Apple Savouring Society of Malaysia (ASS of Malaysia) Datuk Apple Chandran Chan made a statement in a recent press conference with regards to this prognosticated rise in apple prices, saying that, “We are now collaborating with a few renowned local agricultural biotechnologist in minimizing the effect of this absurd price hike.”

The ASS head also commented on the recent demonstration attended by nearly 100,000 apple-obsessed lunatics, mainly to show their protest on the ridiculous price hike. Datuk Chan said, “We in the ASS affirms everyone, the price hike will not affect any apple lovers. This is a promise made by the ASS.”

Local agricultural biotechnologist and apple enthusiast, Dr. Li Ping Guo is part of the team of biotechnologist. He revealed that the team had successfully developed a new breed of apple which is much smaller in size compared to the ordinary apples.

Although it is only the size of a testicle, the pleasure and satisfaction derived from eating one of these new and small apples is not any lesser than eating conventional regular-sized apples, Dr. Li explained.

Conventional apple is usually a single fruit by itself and has a core and a few seeds that are virtually non-edible. Unlike ordinary apples, the new apple comes in a big bunch consisting of a minimum 35 apple fruit. On top of that, this newly-produced apple only has one seed and some of them are even seedless!

Dr. Li had also stated that the new type of apple is undergoing a few final ‘touching-up’ processes and should be available in the market very soon. Currently, only a few supermarkets in the country are selling this newly developed apple as part of market testing. One of our reporters managed to spot this new breed of apple in a local supermarket.

Don’t be tricked by this, although it might appear to look exactly like grapes, but it is in fact, not. With this new apple, all apple lovers can enjoy their favourite fruit without the need to be afraid of the price increment. Moreover, one can enjoy 35 times more than eating the conventional apples!


As a result arising from this joyous discovery, a small group of doctors, who are apparently unhappy, took on the streets with a minor demonstration. When asked about their dissatisfaction, one of the demonstrators, Dr. Ping Guo Suck replied,

“Previously, it was only AN apple a day that kept us (the doctors) away, now that the new type of apple is being introduced, all of us are going to lose 35 days of potential business if every one buys the new apple!”

p.s. The above article is nonsensical, imaginary and carried no slightest malice to any parties. It was all done in the name of humour.

However, the photos are authentic though, taken just 3 days back from a supermarket that is no longer a stranger to Malaysians. :)

Preview,

Guess who I had a saucy conversation with? :)

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My Birthday Celebration Plan for Ken Wooi

Organising a birthday bash is anything but a walk in the park. Its never easy planning a birthday party for someone, especially if he is a really awesome blogger who has a blog layout which is strikingly orange in colour.

I can already feel the tension and nervousness as I type. How to give Kenwooi a perfect birthday celebration that he will never forget in his entire blogging life?

So there I was, sitting on my bed with my hands under her shirt constructing the perfect birthday party for Kenwooi. Yes, I was thinking with my celebrated stupid-face look.

Themed Party

To think of it, this is a rather intriguing idea. And no, I did not derive this idea through Nuffnang's various parties that involved themes, thank you very much.

But you see, having a themed party is kinda awkward. I mean, what would be the best theme that represents Kenwooi?

I was thinking about having an orange coloured themed party. But the thing is, it might churn out to be a little too, er, eye-catching. Imagine a whole room full of people suited in orange costumes.

Frightfully reminds me of U-mobile. And of course, the failed Dutchmen who got terrorized by the Spaniards.

Idea slashed.

Strip Party

Ah! I believe every guy in town will attend! And I even have this wacky idea of having a stripper cover herself with lots and lots of cream, just for Kenwooi! You know, that’s the ‘cake’.

Hmm, I sense perverse. Let’s not take a detour shall we?

One thing about having a strip party, I’m sure none of the girls on the guest list will attend, with the exception of a few lesbos. Besides, I don’t know what type of girl Kenwooi ‘has a special interest in’.

And it’s not cheap to hire strippers. Not suggesting that I’ve hired one before.

Idea slashed.

Sports-Viewing Party

This idea is simply too perfect! We can hold a football viewing party in conjunction with Kenwooi’s birthday! I bet he’ll be thrilled to see the ball! Football, I mean.

But one thing lah, we are either too late for World Cup viewing or too early for EPL viewing. Kenwooi ah Kenwooi, why your birthday in the middle of nothing one. =/

The only football matches we can watch now are friendly match. Want or not? We might be able to catch matches like Manchester United vs. Kowloon City F.C. (something like that lah). Sounds exhilarating to me.

Or we can hold a chess-viewing party, and I’m pretty sure people will start throwing food at me because the boredom is driving them nuts.

Idea slashed.

Political Party

What the heck, this isn’t the party we are talking about. This ‘party’ is too corrupted.

Idea slashed.

DAMN DAMN DAMN!

I can’t think of a suitable idea for the birthday boy? How?!

So, taking the advice ‘when you have a problem, think think think’ from Winnie the Pooh, I started to think harder.

FINALLY! I thought of the perfect idea!

WE CAN HOLD A BLOGGERS’ PARTY FOR KENWOOI!

It started to make sense. Kenwooi is a blogger, Kenwooi loves to blog and bloggers love Kenwooi! Perfect!

We can invite Kenny Sia!

We can invite Cheesie!

We can invite RPK! No no, I don’t think that’s possible, he is purportedly hiding in UK.

We can invite Datuk Seri Najib and Lim Kit Siang too! What? They are bloggers also what.

We can invite all the Nuffies!

And all of Innit’s regular chatterbox!

We can do the ‘usual’ blogger stuffs.

Like snapping photos of food before we start eating so we can go home and professionally write an unpaid review on it.

Or camwhore, bloggers’ style.

Or perhaps take countless group photos with one fella’s big ass DSLR! Bloggers’ style as well!

And lastly, go home Photoshop, watermark and upload the photos into our respective blogs and brag about how much fun we had.

We can combine everything in Kenwooi’s bloggers-cum-birthday bash!

So Kenwooi, are you available for us, the bloggers, on 31st of July? :)

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