Shit

Definition of shit: (In terms of driving) Some piece of wood driving in a manner that irritates you and causes an urge to throw dung (preferably cow's dung) on their windscreen.

The shitty thing about shit is that it happens all the time. Yup, shit happens on the road more than your hair falls. Trust me.

Get it straight, I'm not trying to say that I'm the master of driving or some Saint of the road, but at least I follow the rules.

I know, people tend to doubt my credibility, no, not just doubt, people tend to insult my credibility as a driver of the Malaysian road. Well, to hell with them, whoever they are. I don't need you to question my way of things. Unless your paying me.

Now back to shit.

Ever tried following some jackass who's driving at approximately 15km/h on a ONE-LANE STREET? It's bad enough that I'm unable to overtake him but I had to eat his dust, dust of jealousy - it was a BMW 325i. Sod it.

That punk is so pathetic that even the frail roti-canai uncle from the mamak stall could stroll faster than him on his 30 years old bicycle. Damnation beyond mankind, it was a a BMW 325i for Heaven's sake.

A pretty long queue was built on a neighbourhood road where no cars were to be seen on normal days. I can say the hold up was worse than the crawl on MRR2.

What's the worst of all is to have an impatient old man or woman or cow or whatever shit you wanna call him behind you.

Indecent hand gestures, impatient flares and loud ignorant honking. Come on man, it's not my fault the pretty boy in front of me isn't speeding like he should. Sheesh, Malaysians. Pretty shitty.

Finally, at the junction where the road now widens, that charmingly-patient ME decided to overtake that little numb skull and give that piece of shit the famous Malaysian up-in-the-air-with-the-with-the-palm-wide-open act.

WHAT IN DEVIL'S NAME?!

That smart-aleck was actually on the phone all the while! Laughing and exaggerating mouth movements. Phony piece of crap! First, you're being impolite by hogging a one-way street, then, for us to find out you were on the phone. He deserves shit man.

Couldn't understand what happened to the basic etiquette of human being nowadays. And this is just on the road. What about other places where etiquette is more important that anything else? Whatever happened to the so-called civilisation?

Life is a shit sandwich and everyday you take another bite. - Joe Schmidt

Tweet

Grow Up

It's been a while now since I've last dropped by my Alma Mater, Harvard Lai Meng. Things sure changed a lot over there. Almost five years since I left that place.

Walls are now beautifully painted. I still remember how I used to vandalise the walls with my good old mates with mere pencil and pen. Signing our names and drawing cute little avatars of ourselves there. Not there anymore.

Library had a total face lift. I was a librarian then. Still remember how I loitered around in the library pretending to be on duty, just to stay out of class. And there was this corner specially for block-headed librarians like me to sleep. Not there anymore.

Something more metaphorical. The pillars used to be really tall back in those days. I used to play this old game with my friends where we would jump and slap the cuboid-shaped pillar and see who could jumped the highest - I was too short to win, never won before.

But now, the pillars seem so short. Telling me that I haven't been back there for a long time. Telling me that I've grown. Telling me that it's time to face the big world. Telling me to leave the naive childhood behind.

Though, there are things that haven't changed.

The smell of the school. As I stepped in the school compound, a familiar smell. The smell I grew up with, every morning without fail. But I used to hate that smell when I was a kid. It always reminded me school's a hell full of crap. Now, it's the smell that made me feel welcomed. Made me felt -I don't know- home?

Well, the toilet smells the same as well. No improvement though. Not a good thing. I never really liked taking a leak in school.

The teachers too hadn't changed a bit. Perhaps a couple of wrinkles and a few strands of grey hair added to their stern yet warm face. The smile of my good old class teacher when she saw me. Melted my heart. Still so strong, still so warm.

If it wasn't for her, I'm still a nasty little kid who fails to see the importance of education. I really owed her.

My Alma Mater, my home.

I'm home.

Tweet