Love

I may not know love,
But I do understand what it means.
I may not be loved,
But I'm all set to love.

I may not see love,
But I do appreciate it,
I may not feel love,
But I can sense it's presence.

I may not find love,
But love had found me.
I may not be in love,
But cupid shot me.

When I think of her,
My troubles dissapear.
When I learn about her,
It's a whole new beginning.

When I lay my trust on her,
I know I laid it correctly.
When I put my faith in her,
I know there should be no worries.

When I hold her hands,
A new sensation I unleash.
When hug her tight,
A safe feeling I attain.

I've lost love lost once,
And never trusted it again.
But an angel came,
And brought me back on track.

To that lovely angel of mine,
I hope you're reading this.
For I want you to know,
That I'm always there no matter what it takes.

"I love you and that's all I really know. - Taylor Swift "

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Birthday

It just felt weird going on 17. It's even weirder when there's a good bunch of people who actually celebrates for you. I can only feel stunned when they brought out the cake and a whole hall of people sings you the theme.

When your buddies actually remembers your birthday and celebrates, rush of emotional adrenaline just rush rapidly across you. It's a never-been-felt feeling.

This is the first time I had such a "grand" birthday. People I don't know actually sings me a birthday song. People I've never talk to actually wished me. And more importantly, my good bunch of brothers going through all the trouble just to let me leave this day memorable.

It's a different feeling.

It's just touching.

I want to cry.

For I'm overjoyed.

Friendship makes everything different. For I know that there's people out there who actually cares. For there are people out there who actually knows. For people out there who actually lives with you. For people who actually feels your presence and for people who actually acknowledge them.

It made me speechless. Speechless for the fact that I have a life.

A very big thank you to all my friends who made this day happen. And thank you to all who dropped me a lovely wish. And thank you to all who did not interfere my day.

Thank you all.

Happy Birthday Vin Tsen.

Goodbye sweet 16,
Hello sweeter 17.

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Changing Room

I was showering in the changing room yesterday after badminton. It's been a while since I've last bathe here.


Bathing in a common changing room felt funny, not sure why, but it somehow felt uncomfortable. Especially when two old men are discussing about prostitutes loudly in Hokkien behind you.

So much for having Hokkien as the second language I speak at home, I was able to translate every single piece of information precisely.

Man A: Hey, you went Bukit Bintang yesterday or not?

Man B: Of course I did! They got new "stock" you know!

Man A: You got try out as well?

Man B: Got! I had two for the price of one! (Obviously threesome)

Man A: Lucky you! The one I got has really bad breath, I leave immediately after I "finish".

Man A & B: MUAHAHAHAHA! (Very sickening laugh)

Come on, it's not like you're not allowed to have adult talks, but at least not in public, moreover there is minor and busybody like me around when you have your "discussions".

And especially not to talk about this bizarre topic around some lifeless bloke that might eavesdrop and upload your conversation into his blog.

Just weird.

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Judge Me Wrong

A typical afternoon scene in the LRT.

6 seats, all taken.

A man in suit with a branded briefcase fiddling his PDA. Two neatly dressed man sitting and chatting politely about the latest economy crisis. An office lady reading a novel with her legs crossed. A university student, studying law I assume, seeing all her books are law-related.

One more seat.

A tomboy. Sitting with her legs wide open. Speaking loudly over her cell phone. Chewing a gum and drinking Livita in the same time.

Among all, I had a very bad impression on the tomboy.

“Ding Dong” and the doors opened. An elderly man enters slowly. He was so frail that he looked like he is going to fall down just anytime.

Everyone took a peek at him but ignored and resume their lives as if the man was an imagination.

The man continued entertaining his PDA. The two men continued their economy talks. The lady returns to her adventurous novel world. The law under-grad continued staring blankly with her books still neatly on her lap.

The tomboy held her call, stood up and offered her seat to the elderly-about-to-fall-man. She even helped him to the seat and flashed a smile to him. The sweetest smile I’ve seen today.

At that split second, I changed my perception for her immediately.

I’ve realise, I’ve finally realised.

Sometimes we take things by their exterior appearance too quickly, procrastinating what’s inside. We often judge by looks, then will we bother about the person’s character, attitude etc.

People may be a professional, well-mannered and decent. But deep inside, they don’t looks that good.

On the other hand, those who looked like a bloody tramp who talks as if they were in a fight may not have such a lousy personality.

The saying really goes right – ‘never judge a book by its cover’. Sometimes, posh cars don’t run well.

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Prosti-Tuition

Right, I've began tuition classes last week, in some centre near my school.

I was laughing at Kai Chi when he told me,

"What?! You'll be going there for tuition? That place is like a brothel!"

Ya right, so I'm going to a tuition centre for a hooker. Sheesh! Nonsense. That's like the most absurd thing ever.

The day has arrive - my first lesson last Friday.

Holy crap. Kai Chi was damned right.

It does look like a brothel. There's this guy standing at the stairs directing you to your class - he is the pimp.


Anyhow, the teacher's are good although the exterior don't look quite well. Hopefully my 12 A1's can be achieved by attending this "brothel".

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Is Blogging Self-Worshipping?

I’ve always been thinking, is blogging an act of self-worshipping? What made me think so?

In blogging, we, not ALL of us, of course, tend to produce a very confident manner in writing. So much so that, we tend to think we are hell good at it and other blogger just can’t match us. At least that’s how I feel sometimes.

Note, it’s SOMETIMES, not ALL THE TIME.

Some bloggers include a self-portrait of themselves at the end of every post. That is fine if you think about it. But there are some bloggers, however, practices narcissism. They praise themselves for looking so good.

I’ve once blog-hopped into an unnamed girl’s blog. She was my age – 17. As I scrolled down, her “act-cute” photo was something every post must-have. And to make things worse, she adds taglines like,

“Do I look cute today?”

“How’s my dress and make-up today?”

“Me so cute!”

“I love my hair!”

Heads shaking as I exit her self-adoration planet.

There are also bloggers who are over-confident in what they write. They think they are perfect and the world is rotating for them. I’ve read a lot of disgusting phrases such as,

“I’m the hottest blogging bitch alive.”

“I talk, you zip up.”

“Nobody says I suck; nobody will.”

“I blog because I’m born to do so.”

I would have close down their accounts if I were their blog service provider.

Some bloggers do not have respect for other. They despise other bloggers and defame them directly. I somehow think that every blogger deserves a respect and nobody should have the authority to press them down.

It makes those who defame others looked superior and fear for them should be instilled in others – another self-worshipping act.

Self-confidence in blogging is something good, but if you overboard, people might just hate you.

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Aunties Topless

Time for some funny-sick-perverted-speechless reveals.

Some bugger actually got to my blog by searching "topless aunties".



TOPLESS AUNTIES?!

Who with the sane mind will search for something so insane? Of all varieties they can select, they chose..

Aunties.

Yes, the kind who go to market every 2 days, gossip about so and so's husband and wives, bargain their lungs out just to save 20 cents.

That kind of aunties I was having in mind. And it's utterly disgusting to even think about it.

Never mind. I need to have a good laugh anyway.

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If Everyone Cared

Would you help someone else even if you have to risk your own life?

That phrase stabbed deep into my heart, real deep.

This is a little something valuable I’ve learnt in Literature class today. Something so valuable that I can’t stop hating myself for that moment. I just couldn’t comfort myself despite knowing what I did saved my own ass.

We were talking about robbery happening in front of your very own eyes; a lady was being robbed by two thugs armed with knifes and she was yelling for help at the peak of her voice.

And the argument was whether you, the only witness few feet away, will risk your own bloody life to help the lady, despite knowing the fact that chances of getting yourself murdered is fairly high?

That hit me hard. Really hard. Deep in me, I’m already murdering my own conscience.

I’ve witness many armed robberies and pickpockets. But all of them were only armed with tiny blades and little jack-knives. And all of it occurred in broad daylight.

When I saw all of these acts, I always have a strong urge to step out and stop them. But my cowardice stopped me from proceeding. It made me a weak. It made me felt useless. It made me a total chicken.

The shiny little blades on the robber’s hands chickened me out, I’m afraid of a mere tiny knife. I can’t imagine what will happen if it was a parang or a gun instead.

I know no martial arts, I have no self-defence knowledge. I suck.

And there sitting in the class, I just can’t stop thinking what if everyone was faint-hearted like me? What will this world become? Criminals will get more and more notorious and dare to be said, nobody is capable of stopping them.

And there I was pondering upon, what if I was the VICTIM? And cowards like me just closed both of their eyes and pretend nothing happened? Blood will flow from the flesh on to the ground – but nobody cared.

If we can help someone by risking our own life, will we do it?

“If everyone cared; nobody cried. If everyone loved; nobody died.” - Nickelback

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School, New

Well, first day of school just don’t get any better, new bags, new classrooms, new stationery, new books.

Wait, slash out new books, we got hand-me-down books, my Moral textbook is so crumpled that even a bulldog’s face looked better.

Besides that, we’ve got new things to learn, new teacher to bully respect, and a whole new challenge to conquer.

Guess what, I received a little something for my dedication towards education last year.


100% attendance award.

Kinda auspicious to receive it on the very first day of school.

This shows that how hardworking, how efficient, how dedicated and how loyal I am to my beloved school!

Wait, it’s just a bloody piece of paper.

Anyway, a whole new life is waiting in 2009; this shall be the year I attain my driving license, cheers! This shall be the year I sit for my most important assessment, darn SPM! This shall be my last year dressing up in a nerdy uniform, fashion rocks! This shall be my last year in school, so long!

This shall be the year that decides my future, no more fooling around. I have to change starting from today, omit the bad and welcome the good! Right, like that’s gonna happen.

No, seriously, I must take things seriously.

Vin Tsen, do your best.

Live life to the fullest; live it with no regrets.

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